How Meet the Robinsons Saved my Soul

    So I'm not one to really open up about life when I'm having a hard time and rarely even after. However, I feel that the Lord has taught me some lessons over the last couple of months that I hope whatever posterity I have some day can learn from. Today in Relief Society I shared an experience that I had when Grace was a baby. I was super nervous about raising a little girl in this crazy society that is so obsessed with tearing others down. I prayed hard one night to know what I could do to help her to grow with confidence. The answer came so clearly a couple of days later I felt one of the strongest impressions I have ever felt. "Don't ever let her hear you tearing others down". From that moment I decided I was going to do my best to see the best in others. And I have to tell you while I am not a girl of many talents I have seen this mini mission of mine change the outlook of the world and people at times. Having a positive attitude has come easy along with seeing the good in others has up to this point been virtually a drama free life. However, lately I slowly found myself slacking.

  A couple of months ago I did something I would almost come to regret and didn't understand until this week the reasons behind it all. I prayed for trials to help me draw closer to the Savior. Oh man has it been a rough go for me. I have felt on a daily basis an opportunity for a new or old flaw to be presented basically put myself on display for the judging of anyone whoso felt so inclined. And as most of us know, in this society there are plenty who do feel so inclined. I was given more opportunities than I have had since I returned from my mission to open my mouth about the gospel. Some were easy and some were hard. I had opportunities to stand up for beliefs in settings I didn't think I should have to, deal with some difficult people,  and best of all I had countless opportunities to stick my foot far into my mouth saying plenty of things I shouldn't have said to plenty of people I shouldn't have said them to. The worse of all was I found more anger in my heart than I have ever experienced. I mean it was bad and I was in a dark place, a very dark place. Then on the lowest of low mornings I was reminded of Goob. You know the villain from Meet the Robinsons, well I realized I was basically him. I know I'm sounding psychotic. So I decided to google Goob and just watch a clip about him and compare how we were pretty much the same person. If you would like to watch push play on the below clip and fast forward to the 2:09 mark. 

While the above clip is what I was looking for it is not what I found. Instead I found the answer to my 2 month trial. Of course it was still in Meet the Robinson Form. It was the movie theme song Little Wonders (see clip below). Now don't laugh but as soon as I hit play I felt the most overwhelming peace. I seriously listened to the song about 20 times that day as I realized what was truly important. Every time the song would say "Our lives are made by these small hours" I was reminded that who I become depends on the choices I am making in every small moment of the day and if I'm allowing outside forces, frustrations etc. into my life it will affect those precious moments. Strengthening myself, my family and the church are the only things that matter. In the words of Elder Wirthlin "if you're criticizing others, your weakening the church." In that same note I 100% believe if I am criticizing others whether it be in my head or out loud I am weakening myself and my home.

This is where the little revelation about Grace comes in. Through this experience part 2 of it came. Something I wasn't ready for until now. Grace, Anna and Emilyne need not only an example of a mother who doesn't tear others down but doesn't allow herself to be torn down.  I want to be an example of a woman who has flaws, oodles of them, who's working daily to be a little better who is not tearing herself to bits and is not concerned about the precepts of men as she side by side with the Savior learns all the lessons life has to teach her. As I mentioned above I am raising 3 daughters in a society that sits like vultures waiting for anyone to mess up so they can sound the criticizing alarm, make a sarcastic comment or paste their mistakes on youtube. 

To me this is a scary reality, and while these last couple of months have been a little rough for me, how wonderful to have had so many opportunities to make sooo many mistakes and learn one of the greatest lessons of all; to have confidence in our mistakes and weaknesses. The best of all was through these daily trials I have felt the love of the Lord stronger than ever before. I realized how when I am feel so weak I can turn to him for strength. I need Jesus Christ in my life. Faith in him is the only place we will ever find true confidence. And that faith happens usually doesn't come in one big event it happens in these small hours.